In The Midst Of You

In the midst of you I find myself lost.  Lost in delusion of what once was.  Lost in confusion of what still remains.  What does it matter now anyway?  Particles of dust in the sand, that’s all.From great glory to broken wings of despair I come crashing down.  Unable to pivot.  Upward and onward are what my eagle eyes see.  My wings lifeless unable to fly.  My dreams hopeful of one day soaring high.  Alone I walk the crescent sands of time.  Alone in sadness I weep.  It’s a sad story untold.  The whole story kept in the dark catheter of my mind.  What good would it do to tell such awful truths?  Who would I liberate?  Not me.  Not you.It’s how my karmic fate was pre-ordained by a power far greater than you or I.  A karmic destiny that would circle back in time.  Lifetimes accumulated into one sad cosmic spell.  Now nothing, but the cleaning up of the mess left behind.  The withering heart pounds solemn.  In the still of night I weep.  I ponder such despair.  What an awful fate to have to ponder such pain and agony and how sad to have to relinquish such magnificence.  It was all for naught.  I suppose.  Or perhaps in other karmic reunions the answer will offer up its lesson and from that I’ll walk in integral wisdom.  My head held high, the sun glorifying me in all its awesomeness and with great wisdom I will glorify the begotten characters of this heart-wrenching tale.But in this very moment, in the here and now, in this incarnation I sit and I weep.

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Sue Dhillon is an Indian American writer, journalist, and trainer.