I consider myself an emotional archeologist of sorts. I like to get to the root of things. As an emotional being who’s felt great shame for my emotions I’ve arrived at a beautiful place.
It’s a world of hope and reassurance, a world of certainty that honors my vulnerability and honors my feelings.
It’s not the outside world, but my inside world that has found safety in this deeply feeling place. And the more comfort I draw from this internal part deep down inside of me the more powerful I am externally.
Owning our feelings is the first part of getting to the root. Honoring them and sitting with them is so essential to our livelihood.
Otherwise we like most people will bury them creating a surface level of non-feeling that actually ends up manifesting itself as something totally different. And generally not a powerful form of manifestation, but a layer of something deeper at the root.
A pain body of being bullied as a child may externalize itself as a being a class clown or needing to be school president. Or the experience of being abused as a child may keep us from from speaking up or force us inward in unhealthy ways unable to express our feelings. The emotion of feeling is so painful that we’ve supressed it so far down we don’t know where to begin in resurrecting that and releasing it powerfully into the ethers of emotional archeology.
The nexus of our emotions is always on the precipice of powerful release and liberation. Showing our vulnerability is not vulnerable at all. Or at least it’s not how we perceive vulnerability, as a sign of weakness. Vulnerability is powerful. It’s restorative. It’s helpful. It’s a means of self awareness and strength that only few can exhibit. Most are too unassured of themselves to ever expose such levels of sorrow and pain.
Expressing ourselves as authentically and as organically as we can and allowing all that is cascading at the surface to rise is the most powerful and freeing feeling in all of God’s creation.
There is nothing like a good cry. And there is nothing like showing our sad and sorrowful side to a loved one so they can feel us and have greater awareness and greater empathy for our struggle.