Life = The School Of Hard Knocks

Healing. It is a long arduous process and different for each and every one of us. There are little things I’ve found that we can do, all of us that will help in the healing process.

There are nurturing things our souls long for when we are grieving. One is intimacy. (Intimacy: 32 Things To Know…..) This does not have to be sexual, but can be something as simple as a little pat on the pack or a hug from a friend.

Even having someone hold you for a moment or two while you cry can have a very powerful impact on your recovery. It is little tidbits of nurturing and reassuring that will help us recover and get better.

It’s having affirmations from your friends and loved ones that help ultimately in the healing process. It is a great read, a wonderful novel or inspirational book by the Dalai Lama or whomever you choose that helps us get back on our feet.

I have gone into my shell at times and that is perfectly ok if we want to be alone. This is totally normal and understandable, but the longer we cave in the longer and slower the recovery process. We have to get up and see the bigger world outside of our pain in order for us to acknowledge the pain and then rise above it.

Trust me I make no light of anyone’s pain. It’s through having spent a long time grieving that I saw the light. Why did it take me so long? Why did I continue grieving for as long as I did? Why did I need to keep myself in the misery?

Why did I spend so much time feeling sorry for myself? I spent years and nearly lost everything during a severe post mortem depression I went through. I suffered not only emotionally, but physically and financially. I also made others suffer around me.

Crying is a necessary measure when we are pained, but there is such a thing as too much crying. It doesn’t matter the extent of the pain. I get it. I truly do. Let me reiterate I do not make light of anyone’s pain. As a cancer I am extremely compassionate if not the most compassionate sign in the zodiac.

I can FEEL your pain unlike most people. Truly feel it at it’s core. I’m a feeling sign and operate from a heart space in all matters of life. This is not always good, but wonderful for relating. However, I through my own shedding of hundreds of thousands of tears have come to understand the pain resides despite the crying. Crying does not take away the pain. It’s ok. Some experts even say there are benefits to crying.

It in fact may even aggregate it and keep it alive for longer than need be. Crying is a must, but there is a point where you have to stop and cannot just keep crying. At some stage we make a decision to stop being miserable, stop operating from a place of pain or allowing that to be our center and rule us. We decide that life is short and we are worthy of joy and happiness.

We deserve to be happy. Each and every one of us deserves this wholeheartedly. What we have to accept ultimately is that it is a choice. Do we choose happiness? Do we really believe we deserve it? Or would we rather reel in our own pain?

At some stage we have to start the process of letting go of the hurt. (Check out my piece – 3 Things To Do To Heal A Broken Heart.) Life is the school of hard knocks. As a Buddhist I live by this knowing. Life will knock you down. That’s what it’s about. It’s about getting knocked down and then getting back up and knowing that you’re probably going to get knocked down again.

There’s the in-between of living in the moment and enjoying the times we are up because we’ll probably be getting knocked down shortly. Anyone who tells you they haven’t been knocked down by life is shielding their own pain in some way. It’s better for some to pretend it away, but inevitably it comes to the surface. Life has surely knocked us all down at some point. And it’s good to deal with it and let it go.

Life is full of challenges and struggles. It’s the reaction that matters.

How do we handle the challenges? Did we learn something from them? Are we stronger as a result of them? Are we repeating the same mistakes over and over again? Life will present you challenges as an opportunity to learn. Challenges are merely lessons. It’s a chance to evolve. Once we get this and look at the bigger lesson in each problem, challenge, circumstance life allows us to move past it and become wiser and stronger.

This in turn makes us tougher and builds our resolve. So when we are ready we should look to the light and our own inner light for strength knowing that God will never put us through something we cannot handle. We will recover. We will be stronger. We will have greater understanding of life and ourselves. It’s up to us to decide when we are ready to end the suffering and start living the beautiful lives we were intended to live.

And the point of this here is that, yes life is hard. And those challenges make us stronger and wiser. And we are warriors and we forge ahead. For a little remind of what your made check out my post – Life Is Tough, But So Are You.

Wishing you love and light on your journey ahead.

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Sue Dhillon is an Indian American writer, journalist, and trainer.

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