Cold As Ice

Cold as ice is how I had to become.  Left with nothing to keep me from detaching.  I parted ways once and for all.  My heart strings tugging and nudging at my core.  I became heartless.  It was my only option.  The one thing I had not tried.  It had to be tried if not for simply my own sanity.  It’s different than being cold-blooded.  I still care.  Care about others.  Care about myself.  I give a shit.  I do.  In this circumstance it’s just simple pure detachment.  Not giving a flying fuck.  It’s how we have to be and become sometimes.  Giving a crap can keep us stuck in some dark dungy space for a lifetime.  We wake up decades later to see the devastation and destruction of our entrapment.  It’s a space I move from now.  It’s a stuck-ness I detach from now.  I go to the light alone, broken hearted, my dearly departed not in the physical, but mental realms of my being.  I set myself free once and for all.  I fly on the wings of enraptured free flow.  I lift myself higher with the lightness of my being.  I carry myself up and over the mountain.  I sail through the sky and soar ever so high.  I fly.  Free fall. And then again I fly.

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Sue Dhillon is an Indian American writer, journalist, and trainer.

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